Top Tip - Kill two birds with one stone and get one of those hose brushes so you can hose and brush at the same time. Jobsagoodun, oh yes!

That's just far too sensible!

Top Tip 2 - The best household brush to get in all the nooks and crannys is a bog brush.

A new one is probably better than one that has been used for its design purpose! :-)

Top tip 3:
If you haven't already managed to get your feet wet and muddied up good and proper slip into something less comfortable, like wellies.

I thought you shouldn't use 'regular washing up liquid if you're skint" cos it contains salts and long-term bad stuff.

Or have I fallen for the marketing scam that belongs to bike cleaning agents??? (Not that I clean my bikes with these cos I don't clean my bikes spotless everytime!)

Anthony - Yep, Fairy etc. use salt to thicken the fluid, but this is probably better than leaving a layer of road salt on the poor thing.

Keeping with the brush theme... "Used toothbrushes, scrub where no other brush can!"

after every ride i trot along to the local jet wash and using a gold token(jetwater,jetshampoo,brushshampoo,jetwater,jetwax,jetwater!)i lovingly wash my sexy bike to the annoyance of the waiting queue of cars!makes getting muddy well worth it just to see the impatience of some people.and if anyone gets shirty about the time i take,i stick in another and do it all again.(tokens are scamed from work)

Maintenance?

I use Meths. It gets rid of everything including the nasty grey stuff you get on yur rims on wet days. It smells real good and makes a fantastic beverage on hot days.

My top tip is to use the brushes you get from mothercare for cleaning baby bottles. They are cheep and get in all the right places.

And it helps the little nippers build up a healthy immune system if their milk contains a slight grease/dirt/oil residue.

Don't use washing up liquid - it contains too much salt - use car shampoo instead - it can be bought in large amount relatively cheaply from your local Halfords.

But don't you rinse the washing up liquid off again afterward, or have I missed a key part of the technique?

Doesn't car shampoo contain lots of heavy duty degreaser which works its way behind your seals?

What I want is a top tip to keep all this lube off my rims. A clean bike with no brakes is no use to me. Any suggestions?

Err..... don't spray it on them ;-)

Or you could tilt the bike over so the lube drips onto the floor, rather than the rims (i guess you could even put newspaper down to avoid floor knackering problems)

Use bathroom moose cleaner. Just spray it onto everything, let it expand into all the nooks and crannies and the hose it off a couple of minutes later.

A gleaming bike for no effort at all.

For the rims I use Finish Line degreaser, normally mixed with water, but if in a hurry or knackered (like on the Red Bull) neat. You can also use Coke, which leaves a nice sticky surface afterwards too.

Bathroom moose will tend to etch the paint finish. If you read most bottles it says something along the lines of "Don't use on enamelled surfaces"

"Road film remover" is the top stuff. I have to get it from our local car valeter though, cleans the lot, kind to paint, even gets dried bugs off in the summer.

Top tip - I find that, lubing my brakes stops them squealing, however, this has been replaced by me squealing as I head towards a tree.