i think it will end more like this....

squeal DK squeal ! 

Protection is what you need most

A local A&E Dept.

What were the responces from the other 'more PC' forums?

Gortex bivi bag if your sleeping under a basha/tarp.

I bought a Heatsheet emergency bivibag the other day and I reckon its good enough to use as a cheap alternative to a more expensive bivi bag provided you sleep on a roll mat and dont puncture it too much.

£15 though so for another £15 you might as well buy the gortex (or equivilent) proper one.

 Head torch is a must and a gas cartdridge stove (no need for messy petrol/white spirit on a short haul at sea level)

Boil in the bag food although there are plenty of shops and restaurants etc along the banks.

Water purifier (the choices are endless) although I reckon you could use a millbank bag.

Bouyancy aid?

Avon Skin So Soft if you are stlll decided on open air sleeping.

Waterproof matches, it is Scotland. 

Water purifier in Scotland WTFF

Dead sheep!