No need to spy, I've just read your posts on BM for a few years.

Carpe Diem is an expression I associate with the early 80s and the SS20/Pershing standoff. There was a feeling among young people I knew that as we were likely to be vapourised at any moment we should seize the moment, and did. Then came AIDS, Gorby, greed, unreasonable expectations and bubbles.

The last business didn't work out because as Général de Gaulle put it: "dans toute relation entre deux hommes il y a un qui se fait porter par l'autre". In any relationship between two people one is always carried by the other. Would your venture have worked with just you? If yes try again.

In couples the carrying thing is also true but it works because people should (or do) know that's what they sign up to. Are you pushing yourself so hard because your wife expects it of you or because you think it's what's expected of you? And if so by whom? If I had to go back to living in VW bus I would, we three would, but I'm pretty sure neither of us would expect the other to spend their waking hours stressed, tired and unhappy.

Sometimes lots of money is good, you can pay for jobs to be done or buy things, no need to search out the cheap options or DIY. All without having to worry if you can afford it or have the time to do it.

But just remember you cant buy time, you've got a set amount use it to your best advantage.

I suppose I'm going through a period of reassessment at the moment.

Yes John, I believe the business could have worked with just me. I honestly believe the business failed because I couldn't trust my partner and his agenda has subsequently become apparent anyway.

However, Mrs S has made me promise never to try again because of the stress of the last year and I will keep that promise.

My biggest problem is this - I'm working myself to the bone and driving myself into the ground physically, mentally and financially to pay for things I don't want and resent being forced to fund them.

Try wrestling with that one for a while.

starsky wrote (see)

I suppose I'm going through a period of reassessment at the moment.

My biggest problem is this - I'm working myself to the bone and driving myself into the ground physically, mentally and financially to pay for things I don't want and resent being forced to fund them.

Try wrestling with that one for a while.

Buy food, and a roof over your head,the rest can be ignored,material possesions are nice,but its just more for the bailiffs to take when you suddenly realise you cant afford them, and didnt need them.

made me promise.........forced to fund

Your job hassles aren't the source of your anguish but a symptom of it, aren't they? It's the balance of power in your couple that's got you cornered. I'm aware that some things in a couple aren't negotiable but there has to be some scope for compromise. If my partner weren't prepared to reach any compromises or make any concessions my moral would take a real knock. You're cornered. How do you get out of the corner without collateral damage? That I can't comment on  because if you're very open about your professional life you (rightly) keep your private life to yourself and I could only guess how your relationship works (which wouldn't be very helpful).

Myself and Barbara have just had a chuckle over promises we've made or not made. She didn't want the "obey" promise in the wedding ceremony but the "in sickness and in health" we both agreed to. I also promised to tell her if I slept with another woman before sleeping with her again. We avoid making promises to Sean as well, as broken promises are worse than no promises at all.

I'm sure you won't mind me posting this from your PM Starsky:

I may stop posting on that thread now but........

Nothing to see here, move along now, can't have this place turning into Singletrack can we.

You his life coach now then?

PMSL @ Karlos.

I bloody weel need one at the mo though!

Surfing postgrad courses locally. There's an agricultural college about 15 mins away from home I may also check out.

Blimey, and here I am bucking the trend by organising a move back to the UK, to give my gf (and her kid) access to options they'll otherwise never have. I might even have to marry her to get her in - who could've seen that coming?

Problem with lots of outdoorsy work is that you'd have to interact with the Great British Public - and the GBP are shit. Rope access work, 200 quid a day for pulling hippies out of trees at bypass protests.

The reality of Rope Access work is mostly cleaning pigeon shit off building...that's pretty much why I've never done it.

A friend has done a lot of this, and he's a very varied set of jobs, working for BR / Millemimum Done and bridge work for councils. Long shifts but excellent pay, and then week(s) off at a time. 

I might even have to marry her to get her in - who could've seen that coming?

Everyone on BM? If you marry her it will be because you think she's great which is the impression we've always been given.