What can I use to clean my bike now that the goopy shit is starting to accumulate on the trails? I have heard that car body cleaning stuff is good for bikes..? :)
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car body cleaning stuff is indeed good for bikes, fairy liquid is full of salt, which means rust.
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 Triplewax car shampoo - about £3:00 from asda, listed as 30 washes at 30ml per wash (thats more than enough in a big bucketful) rinsed off with hose after = 1 clean shiny bike with a light waxy finish - FANTASTIC
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would halfords car wash do?
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 "astonish" carpet cleaner. £0.99 for 500ml (the concentrate for the spray gun) i use a large peanut shaped scrubbing brush and my drivetrain comes clean really easy. hosepipe does for clean up.
if its good enough for my carpets its good enough for my bike!
it removes ALL grease and oils off my bike. (i use goretex cables)
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i don't wash my bike, i tried it ones and some bolts went rusty, i just scrape the mud of once its dry.
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 finesse bike wash is good it also coates your frame to protect it unlike muc off which is known to damage a bikes finish
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 you are going to trap more water next to those rustable bits. keepa clean tea towel to dry off rustable parts after you've washed your bike down. thats the only way i can think of, apart from a blowtorch t quickly vaporate the water (bit dangerous and costly!!)
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 Rusty Bolts?? before they go rusty, smear some vasoline in your holes (Ooooooh er misses) :-)
They'll stay nice and clean with no rust
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 I like "x-lite muc-off" for cleaning bike, "pedros citrus degreaser" for the drivetrain and "pedros bike lust" to keep the bike sparkly (stops mud sticking too).
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 and to stop bolts rusting, drip a bit of dry chain lube (waxy type)onto allen key, push allen key into bolt head and wiggle about, puts layer of lube on allen bolt (dry wax dries quick and doesn't attract dust / mud. )
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 halfords citrus degreaser diluted 3/1 for drivetrain and rims.
car shampoo (triplewax etc) for the whole bike, its salt-free so doesnt corrode (washing up liquid has loads of reactive salts in). Rinse well with watering can or hose.
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