Simple enough - I screwed up. I thought the ex-commie Eastern European states would be more interesting than they were, and I underestimated just how BLOODY FLAT it was. Learning experience.

Istanbul was a Plan B destination once the Russian visa for the China run started looking like too much of a ball-ache. I did consider continuing on into Iran, but I have a rough idea for next year that involves heading west from China, through the 'stans and into Iran back to Istanbul. Good read.

Poland was quite nice, one of the only places that I'd go back to. The Tatra mountains in the SW would be a good ride, I worked on the Czech side in the mid-90s and have always thought about going back with a bike. 

Well i say, thats not how i usually wake up after a nights camping.  I have my  year old son with me so maybe not appropriate.

The previous evening I'd pitched up during a lull in the rain, then listened to it hammering down on the flysheet until I drifted off towards midnight. I awoke to bright sun at 05:00 and abandoned plans for an early start. Wild camping is the way it's meant to be, waking up to the sound of birdsong rather than coughing and farting Germans. I dozed on and off until 07:30, then had a leisurely couple of coffees and an even more leisurely wank, before packing for an 08:30 start

Just one of the many advantages of riding solo, Hobo...

That lightweight guy's got some interesting ideas and, while I wouldn't want to take it to that extreme, one thing I've decided after this trip is: if I can't get it in two panniers - then it ain't going.

. I'd had no breakfast other than two cups of coffee and I was grouchy, so the third shepherd's dog that came at me got the fright of its life. I threw the bike down, jumping off and running at the dog, screaming full volume "You want some, come on then!" I've never seen panic on a dog's face before, but it hadn't been expecting this. Scrambling to turn tail, it legged it - but not before getting my size 49 up its arse, followed by a volley of stones that had it yelping off into the trees. Romania's got a real dog problem, and it's pissing me right off.

Classic

 He was now telling people to call the police, then turning to me and making the international sign for 'money.' Oh aye, I knew where this was going. I made the international sign for 'fuck off', hopped on the bike and legged it for the ferry to Bulgaria

Well spotted, and now corrected - a cheap cable lock with a loop at each end, secured by a padlock. Wouldn't stop a 'real' bike thief, it's a lightweight shop stop deterrent. When camping, how I stash the bike depends on the level of threat; highest level means I remove at least one wheel, balance it on top of the frame and larksfoot the cable lock to tie it all together. I then run the free end of the lock through into the tent and fasten it to a pannier with my pans balanced on top. I also pitch the end of the porch over the top tube. No way are they getting that without waking me, short of an Edward Genochio-style bike theft. Having the separate padlock is handy because you can use it to lock bags together (for example, when servicing the bike in a city park), and some cheap hotels use a bolt-hasp type lock that needs one.

Ultimately, though, you simply have to relax about the whole bike theft issue. It's only 'stuff', so long as you've still got your passport and money it's OK. 

"razzing their stupid, pointless little shitboats round and round in circles as fast as they could. If I'd had a missile weapon I would have shot them out their saddles."

"I have a hatred of people who drop litter that borders on the irrational."

... Ahh thats better, I'm glad I'm not the only person on this planet who thinks this way! Excellent read by the way. Thanks.